Why Most Men Won't Date Single Mothers
I saw this post in a group on Facebook asking “why are so many men scared to date” single mothers…
First off, it has NOTHING to do with “fear”. No one is scared. Single men with no kids know they’ll never come first, will have to support (in some way) and raise someone else’s kid(s), and most just don’t want a relationship like that.
Single fathers are more likely to date single mothers because women without kids don’t understand yet what it’s like to be a parent, and their expectations are usually not aligned.
Men without children also don’t want to be your last option, the guy you “settle for” now that you’re in the situation you’re in. They don’t want to be providers to children that aren’t their own, and support a woman who won’t put them first. “My kids will always come first!!”
Sure, kids come first a lot of the time, but NEVER putting your man first? You mean, the guy who stepped up to raise kids that aren’t his? The man that saw enough value in you that he overlooked your shortcomings and entered into a relationship with you anyway?
THAT’S the guy you’re telling you won’t put first EVER? Really?THAT man deserves to be put first sometimes, probably a LOT of the time. Yeah. Most guys aren’t going to opt in for that.
The last woman I dated who had kids was a widow, and as a parent myself, I considered that to be different. It was through no fault of her own that that’s the situation she was in. And guess what?
She STILL made me regret it by cheating on me. I had grown attached to her to her kids and then one day they were gone completely from my life, without a single thought given to me or them…
That’s another thing men don’t want to sign up for… emotionally investing in YOUR kids knowing they can be gone in a whim, just because you had a change of heart.
How about dealing with another father in the picture? Who may or may not be a good parent? Either way you’re stepping into his territory, regardless of who ended the prior relationship, those are still HIS kids, and he’s gonna have to accept you in the picture, which may or may not be easy for him, but if it isn’t, there’s another potential problem to avoid.
The long and the short of it is, men see too many problems in a relationship like that, and one of the things men want most is PEACE, which that scenario will NOT provide.
Matt